They speak of sincerity and honesty.
I write this as an outlet; as a part of thinking out aloud.
I feel a little hurt.
And I feel my “wearing this part of my heart on a sleeve” is needed.
Take it or leave it.
For about 3 years, I was writing for this Christian magazine called: Vision.
About 4 months ago, I noticed, the team stopped asking me to write for them.
I saw further magazines published without any articles that I had submitted.
Had I been sacked? Or politely “let go” from the team?
Christians can be “too nice” and thus afraid to deal with conflict and in fact, end up hurting people more.
I am hurt by this magazine and its team.
I asked them about why I wasn’t asked to write anymore. They then replied explaining that the magazine was undergoing some direction changes.
That’s fair. But how come as a long term contributing writer this change was not shared with me in the first place?
And that’s what hurts me.
Maybe they’re unhappy with my writing style?
I don’t know, but I wish they would just “come right out and say it” as the band Relient K suggest.
Further lyrics say it like this: “I rather have the truth that something insincere”
Gets me thinking how Christians try playing the humble card
Or try playing the way of peace; as not to say anything “hurtful” or whatever.
Yes, no one likes being told off. Or hearing they’re not part of the team anymore. I know that.
But is that not better than just being ignored or quietly let go?
So “Christian people” stop acting so polite and too cowardly to deal with conflict.
I rather deal with outright pain that subtle pain.
So here I sitting writing a response to what subtle hurt can do.
I will get over it. I just wanted to express myself with this matter.
Now I feel better.
PS. I have spoken to the magazine about my hurt. So this is not just a “ranting” blog.
This song has been in my head the last few days, i finally decided to listen to it and look at the lyrics:
Jars of Clay – Something Beautiful
[verse] If you put your arms around me Could it change the way I feel I guess I let myself believe That the outside might just Bleed it’s way in Maybe stir the sleeping past Lying under glass Waiting for the kiss That breaks this awful spell Pull me out…of this lonely cell
[chorus] Close my eyes and hold my heart Cover me and make me something Change this something normal Into something beautiful
[verse] What I get from my reflection Isn’t what I thought I’d see Give me reason to believe Never leave me incomplete Will you untie this loss of mine It so easily defines me Do you see it on my face? And all I can think about Is how long I’ve been waiting to feel you move me
[chorus] Into something beautiful Into something beautiful
[bridge] And I’m still fighting for the Word to break these chains And I still pray when I look In your eyes, you’ll stare right Back down into something beautiful
[chorus] Into something beautiful Into something beautiful Into something beautiful
Last year, when I spent a few days in Cape Town with some friends, I bought a pair of slops.
(I had just landed in South Africa after being away for 3 years in the UK.)
Now the other day, I bought a new pair of slops, almost a year later. (The ones from CT had been worn down.)
A lot has happened between those two pairs of slops:
Starting 2012 in the splendour of Underberg for New Years.
Did ministry in Durban North for a rather traditional Anglican Church.
Got to embrace the Durban Beachfront.
Took up Ballroom Dancing lessons.
Discovered the negative side of a church and church leaders.
Saw the movement of God and noticed His rescue in my life.
I have learnt to stand up for justice.
Became a tourist in my own country: riding the Gautrain, seeing inner city Joburg and having a picnic in Hatfield, Pretoria.
Breathed in the spectacular views of the Drakensburg.
Saw the amazing international band: Switchfoot
Became an uncle.
Have made up for lost time (an expression), living out of Durban for 11 years.
I have had good quality time with my mom.
I have enjoyed Florida Road (it’s still very new to me)
I have swum the Midmar Mile (a first time) and I have ridden the Amashova Cycle race.
I have discovered some new bands and appreciated older ones.
I have held my niece in my arms. So precious!
I have had some good bro time with Warren.
I have water-skied.
I have gone on some amazing rides (mountain bike) in the valley of a thousand hills.
I have played some good games of speed scrabble.
I have been welcomed and embraced by a new church: a warm and relevant Methodist Church.
I have felt God skip in my soul again.
I have hopefully inspired a whole range of young people for God this year. Shown the love of Jesus to them. And encouraged them to enjoy life.
I have had regular change in this last year.
I thrive on change.
I have lived in two towns.
I have had good Skype calls with friends.
I am still learning many things
I am still discovering more of God
I have watched good games of football in local pubs (bars, as they call them here.)
I have felt the warmth of the sun on my back
I have heard the repetitive and reminding call of the “Piet my Vrou” a bird called: the red chested cuckoo.
I have good friends. I have made some new ones.
I have a good spiritual family.
I am alive and well
I am part of something bigger
I am in the heart and mind of God, and on His grace I depend. “In Him we live and move and have our being.”(Acts 17: 28)
So with these new pairs of slops, I skip into another year, a gift from God.
So now I continue that theme using another musician i like.
Because yes, God can teach us things, even through songs:
Check out the song above by Dave Matthews Band called: Gaucho
As I hear the song for the first 2 times, I note how these lyrics jump out at me:
with fire to keep us warm and tools we made from rocks and bones a roof over your head and walls to keep you safe in bed. there must be more than this so God was born and we in His image of fear and love looked down upon from up above.
we gotta do much more than believe if we really wanna change things we gotta do much more than believe if we wanna see the world change we crossed the oceans wide built cities to the sky (oh Lord) looked up and we were flying but will we not survive ourselves
we gotta do much more than believe if wanna see the world change we gotta do much more than believe if we really wanna change things we gotta do much more than believe, go on try it, go on try it we gotta do much more than believe if we wanna see the world change
Malachi 3: 17““On the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession.”
I dont want to miss an opportunity to share good news…
Last Night at Youth we had a version of the Amazing Race as an activity.
I called it “The Great Treasure Hunt” because at the end of the activity I wanted to share this above verse with the teens.
Whenever we get a chance, we should share good news with people.
We are His treasured possession. What a cool thought!
Rest in the beautiful truth.
Lifehouse first caught my attention and probably most of their fans with their song: “hanging by a moment”
Here is a video of that song:
In the place I was with God when i first heard this song, i sung the words to him: “Desperate for changing starving for truth, I’m closer to where I’ve started, chasing after You I’m falling even more in love with You Letting go of all I’ve held onto I’m standing here until You make me move I’m hanging by a moment here with You”
I have been following Lifehouse for a few years. They’re one of the popular non popular bands in a sense. I mean, they do push out good singles. But most people just stick to listening to their singles. Yet there are some devout fans that have stuck with them throughout their entire album… not just the singles 🙂
It was so good to see them on Friday Night. Starting off with the first song “All in” from their latest album: Smoke and Mirrors… they cotinuued throughtout the 90 minutes playing all their cool songs such as: you & me, wrecking ball, first time, breathing (this song was a surprise because it’s off their very first record and apparently had not been on their setlist in awhile), halfway gone, whatever it takes, and some i can’t remember the names offhand.
I managed to get some pretty cool photos. see some of them below:
I didn’t really have any particular expectations of the Lifehouse gig. I knew it would be awesome. I knew the setlist would be full of their classic ballads. But I was surprised twice during the show.
First was when Jason Wade (frontman) did 3 songs solo with just his acoustic.
He played 1) Storm (These words can be sung to Jesus)
“How long have I been in this storm? So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form Water’s getting harder to tread With these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you Everything would be all right If I’d see you This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water And you will catch me if I fall And I will get lost into your eyes I know everything will be alright”
2) chorus and bridge of Everything (I didn’t think this worship type song would be sung live. and hearing him sing it… was a treat.)
3) somewhere inbetween
Here is a video of this song:
But the best part of the show is after the encore… they played two songs; first being the upbeat Halfway Gone and then ending with the impactful and worshipful full length with the whole band: Everything:
“Find Me Here Speak To Me I want to feel you I need to hear you You are the light That’s leading me To the place where I find peace, again.
You are the strength, that keeps me walking. You are the hope, that keeps me trusting. You are the life, to my soul. You are my purpose, you’re everything.
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?”
I was totally stoked about that! It was a classic moment of worship and a show. I just felt so awesome and connected with God in that moment. Thank you Lifehouse. Of course I have to show you a video clip of the lovely song: You & Me: