This morning I had an interesting hour of ripping and shredding… my journals from the past. Some musings from that experience in no particular order:
1) In the years that have gone by, I have never looked back at these journals. So why keep them?
2) Looking in them, I realise how shitty I have treated some girls in my past relationships. Have I learnt from that? i wonder…
3) Sometimes, in looking back… I realise, I am not moving forward in the lessons that I should learn.
4) I won’t hang on regret for the stupid things I’ve done. So hence, why the ripping and shredding.
5) I noted a line I often said “I want to grow up.” In some weird ways, I guess it’s bugged me when people see me “just as a boy” . I look young for my age. That’s a good thing indeed. But I don’t like getting treated like a kid. I am a man
6) Maybe in the past, I was better at letting people in. Now, not so much. or maybe, in the past, I sucked at it too… who knows.
7) It’s good to “take stock” and write your thoughts down. hence, why I like blogging. because with this online community, people sgare wisdom with you. people identify with one’s mistakes and glories.
So if i do write my stuff down in future, it will probably be here on my laptop. Maybe I will go back and visit. Maybe I won’t.
8) Looking back in the rear view mirror is not always helpful. Sometimes one needs to embrace the presence and future a whole lot more wholeheartedly with their gaze ahead!
9) I am grateful for my life. the crappy things and the good things.
10) I am seen. And I still want to be seen more.