As the day begins, I sit in this study with the warmth of the morning sun splashing on my back
And this computer screen.
I think of my Birthday on Friday.
Thank you for a lovely day. Thank you for another year.
In the past 33 years,
I have had many adventures and been to 10 different countries.
Jumped out planes, crawled in caves and sat sipping coffee in Italy on cobblestoned roads.
Among many others.
Jesus, you have used me to inspire and teach others about your grace and love.
You have given me a gift of writing (even though I make spelilng mitsakes)
I have felt your presence so reassuringly inside of me.
I have seen your beauty in the world.
I have seen how you have set people free.
I have met many people in my short life so far. My friends cross borders…Germany, Belgium, France and England.
Maybe in Your mission of alleviating pain and brokenness in the world,
I have helped a bit.
Glad to be part of Your kingdom and way of life.
Jesus, in the past 33 years,
I am also aware that, I have messed up.
Not just once, but a lot.
You know my shortcomings and my sins.
From not treating people well.
From not having respect.
From being selfish.
From being hurtful.
You know me and more complexities.
I have been a bad example at times.
Thank goodness i came off that pedestal at an earlier age.
Only YOU belong there
And yet you choose to stand in the middle with me surrounded by judges and stone throwers.
I have learnt a lot
And yet I still don’t understand many things.
I know your death means the death of me and I am learning to trust
Learning to forgive.
Like Jacob, I know I wrestle You a lot,
but thankfully i get to hold on to You.
I pray for the next 33 years, ahead.
(If you grant me with those.)
I pray for protection and safety (seems like a cliche prayer), but God you know in South Africa, a lot of us pray for that.
I pray for my wife, wherever she may be.
I pray for the new calling you have over my life.
Unravel it more clearly for me.
God, I am scared, not always sure where i am going, but YOU do see.
Let me trust.
Teach me to be content.
Help me to hurt less people.
Help me to stop doing stupid things.
Only one can lead in the dance, will you lead me?
But let’s always dance together, okay?
Big God, small me, I love you.